I have nothing witty to share today. I have been sick for more than two weeks. I am on my second round of antibiotics and still feel like my head is going to explode. The pressure on my ears is intense. The doctor says my eardrums are showing the pressure they are under (happens to us all, eventually). I can’t remember if she actually used the word “bulging,” but that’s how it feels: like my eardrums are bulging and may soon simply pop. And they hurt so much that I imagine, if they popped, it might not be a bad thing. I picture my head filled with sludgy swamp water, and if my eardrums pop, it would all drain out. Then maybe I could lean over the kitchen sink and use the sprayer to rinse out the inside of my head. The warm, soapy water would wash out all the sticky bits of shameful memories, useless knowledge, and cobwebs, leaving my whole brain sparkling and new and so, I don’t know… rejuvenated! It would be like coming home from a month-long vacation in the Bahamas, but without the expense. Or the tan.
On the bright side, I received a package in the mail today. From Mom. What could be better than a surprise package from Mom, when you’re not feeling well? And I don’t think she even knew that I wasn’t feeling well! It must be that Mommy-magic that I always told the kids we possessed. It helped keep them in line until they turned, like, four, and began rolling their eyes whenever I mentioned it. (But I think Mommy-magic does exist in many small ways, which may merrit a blog post of its own). Anyway, the package contained a pair of foldy-uppy black ballet flats and a little pouch they go in. They can fit in my purse, and are for wearing when I’m waiting outside stage doors, Mom wrote. (If you don’t understand that reference, you’ll just have to go back and read this post.) There was also a super soft and comfy and oversized sweatshirt which I will not take off until I’m feeling better.
Also, I think I have tendonitis in my left arm (as a reader pointed out; thanks!). So between sinus pressure and arm agony (not really agony, I just wanted to be alliterative), my dedication to getting back in shape is ebbing. This keeps happening. For the last year, I get started back on an exercise regime, get injured or sick, and lose the tiny bit of momentum I gained. How do all the perpetually fit people stay perpetually fit? Do they never hit roadbumps?
But I may be learning a lesson here (a little late in the game, but still worth knowing). The lesson is: life is not a straight journey. There are sharp curves and tight turns. Some sections of the road are curvier and crazier than others, and you think there can’t possibly be another curve ahead, and then there is. So to move forward, you’ve got to hug those curves and ride them out. You can’t go off the road every time you hit a rough patch. You catch your breath on the straightaways, and then hold on for the ride once more.
So, as soon as I feel better, I will hit the gym. I will try, once again, to get those muscles back. The month or so of hard work I logged before this sinus infection is not lost. I did it. I made strides. I may have gone back a few steps, but now I get to get out there and start again.
And it’s this way for everything in life, I guess. You know: You fall off the horse, and you have to get right back up again; Life is always two steps forward, one step back; When life gives you lemons, make lemonade… H’m: I thought there were more cliches for this type of thing, but I can’t think of any others. Oh yeah, there’s always this one: “Men: you can’t live with them, you can’t shoot them.”
Just kidding. I love the men in my life. Especially when they bring me ice water and hot compresses for my ears.
Anyway, I’m trying to embrace life’s ups and downs. As I sit here in my favorite chair with my iPad and my book and a heating pad on my bulging eardrums and my new ballet flats on my feet, I think it could be worse. I could have tendonitis in BOTH arms.
See how MATURE I’m getting in middleage?